Small Town Sophistication

It all started with a bawdy joke from a well-respected urologist. I don't think I got the same level of laughter, but I did alright.

A couple of weeks ago, I had the pleasure of speaking to the Asheboro Rotary Club about the origins of chocolate and how bon-bons are made. I'm still quite new to this public speaking business, but I'm getting better, and everyone seemed to enjoy it (though I kept the bawdy jokes to nil). As a small business owner, the opportunity to speak to a large portion of the movers and shakers in my town was priceless publicity. But, more than that, it was a chance to share a little more of what I love with the town that I call home.

I've lived in the greatest city in the world, and I've seen a lot of beautiful European cities. I count my time in those places among the treasured moments of my life. But this dirt, this air, these trees and lakes and streams are my home. I don't think I truly knew what it meant to find home until I left it. It's one of the reasons I chose to base my business here. Sure, New York or Boston or Chicago would be more lucrative for a fine chocolate producer. But I think it's time my little corner of the south had the same level of sophistication as a big city - at least when it comes to chocolate. Who says you have to have high rise office buildings and constant traffic jams to enjoy good, worthwhile food? Let's just call it, "small town sophistication".

Jumping Without a Net

What would you do if you knew you couldn't fail? I know it's a question that's been asked before, by others much more qualified than me. It's something I've been thinking about a lot today. There was a delay in my chocolate order - so I can't really go crazy with work until Monday morning. I've still got plenty to do, but the majority of it is rather mindless and that left my brain free to wander.

Fear is one of those love/hate subjects for me, heavy on the hate. I've learned that fear can be a great protector - it's our primal fears that often keep us out of dangerous situations. I know there have been a few situations where that kind of gut instinct has kept me out of harm's way. But fear can also be a smothering blanket, like an overprotective parent who never lets his child out of sight. It's that kind of fear that I've grown to dislike and avoid. It's insidious, when you least expect it, the grasping fingers of fear come out to pull you down.

Today I declared my own personal war on wet-blanket fear. With vigilance, I plan to knock it down and never let it back up. It's the cautiousness that stops me when I'm just about to be a more authentic version of myself. It's fear of judgement or rejection that shackles me to stupid life patterns that get me nowhere. If I'd let fear win out, I would have never started this business, I would probably have stayed at one or another dead-end and senses-numbing job, always hoping for a big break, or perhaps the lottery.

I exaggerate for the purposes of making a point - I really don't think I've ever been quite so fearful, although there have been days. But how many people can relate to that? I think there are quite a few out there who still have a little spark of a dream, but fear of judgement, rejection, and failure hold them back.

It's my nature to be shy. I've written about my introversion before. But, is it possible to change from an introvert to an extrovert? Is it possible that the fear drained my energy, and not the social interaction? I think I'll find out soon enough. My war on fear starts today. Today is the day that I analyze every negative thought and banish it, because it comes from an unproductive place of fear, and I've got no room for unproductivity. That's right, unproductivity, it's a new word, I've just made it up. Today I jump, and trust that the net will be there before I land. And if the net isn't there, then there's probably a good reason, and I'll figure it out, instead of blaming the roadies.

you gotta know when to fold 'em

Oh Kenny Rogers, you're a modern day oracle. Sometimes you really do need to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away, and know when to run.

Nobody panic, the company isn't folding. But there have been a couple of experiences over the past few days that reminded me that every opportunity shouldn't be taken, every path doesn't need to be walked. I'll share one of them, the other one I'll keep to myself. Oddly enough, I'm going to share the personal experience and not the business one.

Last night, I was talking on the instant messenger to a guy I'd just met. The conversation had just gotten started, literally, we were about four exchanges in.


Him: "Hi, this is ****"

Him: "how are you?"

Me: "pretty good, and you?"

Him: "pretty good"

Him: "so are you cynical about men, too?"

Me: "what?"

Him: "it's a question..."

HIm: "ARE"

Him: "YOU"

Me: "yeah, I'm familiar with questions, but why would you ask if I was cynical about men, too? That implies that I've already admitted to being cynical about something, which I haven't, because I'm not"

Him: "are you always so uptight?"

Him: "because you seem pretty uptight right now"

Me: "no"

Him: "WELL?"

Me: "well, what?"

Him: "are you going to answer my question? Have I caught you at a bad time? Maybe you'd be in a better mood later"
(after a brief pause, where I considered my options and answered the phone - it was somebody I'd much rather spend time talking to)

Me: "I think we're done here."

Me: "Goodnight."



Really. What was that? Was he trying some of that Mystery, pick up artist bull? (not familiar? let me enlighten you...) Was he that pathetically clueless about how to have a conversation?

I don't know, because I didn't stick around to find out. Sure, maybe I'm missing out on an opportunity to make a new friend, but if that's his first impression, can you imagine what's to come? Forgive me for wanting to miss out on hours of being corrected and having flaws magnified.

It's a lesson I'm learning in business as well as in personal relationships - not every opportunity is going to be helpful. It may seem obvious when it's written down, but I can assure you, in practice, it's not so easy. When your biggest dream is to have a healthy, growing business with a broad client base, the lines between colossal time wasters and genuine helpers gets a little blurry. The only thing I know that works is just as clichéd as you think - trust your instincts.

The Five Types of Sampler

First off, apologies if you got the last post eight million times. There was a little problem with the HTML link and it wasn't apparent until after I'd hit the little publish button. What can I say? I'm a pastry chef, not an IT whiz.

I promised a more in depth story about chocolate sampling at the Weaver Street Market. After five(ish) hours of standing face to face with shoppers, I think I've identified a few distinct types of sampler.

The Enthusiast: approaches the display with gusto, intent on procuring a sample; tastes, appraises, responds accordingly (about 98% positive, in my case); proceeds to discuss all aspects of chocolate making, eating and buying.

The Frugal Nibbler*: tentatively tries a very small piece; quite surprised to actually be enjoying it; looks at the price and scurries away. (* there are two types of frugal nibbler, the one who checks the price and smiles while quietly backing away, and the one who checks the price and loudly declares "too rich for my wallet" or "I'll just stick to the samples!" and makes an exit)

The Multi-Sampler: walks up, tries one of each piece, and continues with shopping; approx 5-15 minutes later, reappears and attempts a look of innocence while trying two more pieces; upon making eye contact, the multi-sampler will often cite a child/friend/significant other on the opposite side of the store who just "has to try this" (it's ok, it's flattering, really)

The Analyst: before sampling, or while the chocolate is melting on his/her tongue, the Analyst will ask questions and inspect the ingredients list; my favorite analyst was a woman who said, "does this contain sugar?"

The Ghost: actually not a sampler at all, but an apparition-like shopper, intent on making only the pre-ordained purchases and getting out; the most notable thing about the Ghost is the ability to avoid eye contact, distractions, or the allure of chocolate.


As a lone chocolatier, I don't have a large group of people with whom I interact daily. It's pretty much just me and my infinitely helpful assistant/grandmother. Five hours of people watching was very much an information overload, but it was also lots of fun. I hope no one reads this list and finds it cynical - that wasn't my intention. Every single person who took the time to stop, sample and interact with me deserves some thanks. I realize that they were getting quite a payoff - free chocolate - but they were giving me the opportunity to share my business with them and potentially make a new client. The more contacts, the more sales, and the longer I get to keep doing what makes me happiest.

A brief discussion of self-control.

It's been an eventful week. I took a brief vacation to visit a dear friend who's living in Florida. The drive down was long and tiring, but beautiful. I've never driven that far south, and it's really something to see. I imagine that if I had a more intimate knowledge of the back roads, there would be an even more stunning view of the South Carolina low country and Georgia. There's something about the wetlands just off I-95, it's something you'd never see from the oval window of a plane. There are long expanses of low grasslands, punctuated by bony trees, black and reaching out of the ground like something from a graveyard horror film. It just looks quiet there.

All that quiet gives one time to think, and I did a lot of thinking in the 14 hours I was on the road. In some ways, I think it prepared me for a rather upsetting interaction with a potential new friend (there is no potential left, now). I think a lot of people would benefit from a good long stretch of highway and time to figure it all out.

I used my highway to think about the way we interact with people. There are so many things that we've convinced ourselves we can control, even with the most superstitious of methods. The one thing we can definitely control is ourselves. I think if we focused more on our own actions, and less on trying to fruitlessly control other people's, we'd find that elusive patch of sanity and zen that everyone seems to be seeking.

I won't share the details of my upsetting interaction, they've got nothing to do with chocolate. But when immediately confronted with a situation where many people would use any number of ways to attempt to exercise control over someone else, I decided to put my thoughts into action. I realized that lowering myself, even incrementally, would be a futile attempt to manipulate the situation in my favor. So I didn't. I saw the truth for what it was, and thanked the messenger.

And then I erased his phone number.

Perseverance, or The Merits of Hard Work

The biggest difference I've found between owning a business and working for someone else is this: you cannot afford to slack off. There have been days, in my pre-business life, when I know I wasn't bringing my full ability to the stainless steel table. Most often, those days came the Sunday after a particularly hard Saturday night.

Saturday was the worst day at the Inn. The maximum number of guests were booked in the hotel, and dinner was always heavy. My least favorite part of the whole day was one hour - the hour between 4 and 5 pm. Afternoon tea began at four and ended at five. If tea was busy, which it almost always was on a Saturday, all other essential work would stop while we loaded up trays with scones, cakes and little pots of clotted cream and lemon curd. I imagine the most frustrating part of it was not the loading up, or even tediously filling those pots with uncooperative condiments. The most frustrating part was walking into the dishwashing area and seeing the very same tea trays, still full, perhaps with a brownie missing, maybe a bite or two out of the scone, and those damned pots, still full.

It's not that the tea treats weren't tasty, quite the contrary, everything we made was really good, and it was hard not to eat it all ourselves. No, the problem was that in addition to 1 scone, 1 brownie, 1 cookie, 1 tartlet, and 1 piece of fruitcake, each guest also received a tray of sandwiches, each about 4 inches long and an inch wide. So add 1 egg salad, 1 roast beef, 1 salmon and dill, 1 cucumber, and 1 tomato and cheese sandwich to that list of food. Now serve it 1-2 hours before a big, expensive dinner that most of the guests had already paid for, and I probably wouldn't be too hungry either!

Picture a busy Saturday, a rushed tea service - mostly an exercise in futility as you now see, followed by a rush to complete all the production needs before service - most importantly bread, another story for another day - and you begin to understand why a Sunday was a great day for slacking off. More importantly, I think it may be a little more clear why it felt ok to slack off every now and again.

I've never been averse to hard work. And I think I've always tried to give the most I could to my employers. When you begin to realize that the work you're doing is mostly going directly into the trash, that's when it's hard to put your back into it so heartily. But just as I did then, the only thing to do (in my mind, at least) is to keep going, one foot in front of the other until the work is done.

The difference now is that I know everything I do has a reason, and isn't superfluous or wasteful. And that is indeed a big difference.

My double life.

I have a secret, and it's about to come out. If you were to come up to me on the street, you'd probably never know what I'm about to reveal. Then again, maybe you're very perceptive and you'd see right through my flimsy disguise. My secret? I'm very shy. I'd much prefer being alone or with a few close friends as opposed to in a group of new people. New people exhaust me. It's not that I dislike them, it's just that all the steps that one must take to meet a new person completely drain my energy. If you don't recall from your psychology class notes, this is the precise definition of an introvert.

By this point, we've established that being outgoing and assertive doesn't come naturally to me. It's too bad, since those are very key personality traits when running a business. I've had to develop those skills over time, and sometimes I think I'm just one furtive glance away from exposing myself for the introvert I really am. It's never really occurred to me that I wouldn't just overcome those tendencies. The big secret to entrepreneurship, as far as I see it, is just that. It doesn't matter what sort of obstacle stands in your way, you must realize that, for your business to thrive, there is a way around it.

That doesn't mean that every problem will be neatly solved, or that every idea you have can be done. Sometimes the way around an obstacle is realizing that it's an idea that won't work, and finding a new direction.

Living my own metaphors.

Last Monday, I had a very nice date with a very nice boy. He lives near Charlotte, and as there's much more to do there, I drove down to meet him. Everything was fine until I tried to go home. That's when my personal life gave me a perfect metaphor for my business life.

As I pulled away from the movie theater, going back the way I came, I was certain that I knew how to get home. After all, I've been to that area many times, and I'm pretty good with direction. So, you can imagine my surprise when I somehow found myself going in the direction I came from. How? I have no idea. Somewhere along the way, I'd made a turn that put me back on the road to the theater. The business metaphor that this mirrors? Sometimes you think you're going in the right direction, only to end up where you started.

Luckily, I knew that the interstate was nearby. Driving on I-85 isn't my favorite thing in the world, but it was a safe bet to get back home. I spent about 10 minutes on the road before being overtaken by 10 big tractor-trailers. I probably haven't mentioned it before, but I drive a MINI. Normally the big trucks don't intimidate me too much, but when they're swarming your car, going about 80, they get scary. I thought I'd found my exit, so I got off the road quickly. Metaphor? If you feel like you're in over your head, try to find an alternate solution.

Not so luckily, I wasn't on the road I thought. Instead, I ended up driving through the business district of several small towns before finally (finally!) getting back on the road that would lead me home. There were a few moments when I thought I should turn around, and a few when I just wanted to give up (and do what? sleep in the car?), but I kept driving, and eventually found my highway. Of course, I did have the advantage of knowing where I was going, however vaguely. But the living metaphor for me was: Believe that you know where you're going. It may take longer than you think, but don't give up when you know you're right.

It was all a little hokey, and I apologize for getting all inspirational greeting card on y'all, but it was a message that rang true for me. This business is all a big adventure for me, and I'm sure if any of you are starting businesses of your own, you'll know that sometimes you just need a little reassurance.

More Progress, Odd Happenings

The electrician has finished, and the rough-in has been approved! Amazingly, the whole operation only took one day. Last Thursday, my very helpful electrician came about 10 am. He installed a few extra outlets, put up the meter box, and by 3pm, the last of the rough-in work was done. As luck would have it, the building inspector had a break in his schedule, and so he came by, and approved everything the same day.

Next up is insulation. I have to say, I'm not looking forward to that. Originally, I planned to do the work myself, but the inspector suggested hiring a contractor. He told me that for the retail cost of insulation, I might be able to hire someone to do it all. This has some advantages, clearly, I don't relish the idea of wrestling with miles of fiberglass. I'm also interested in blown-cellulose insulation, which is something best left to the professionals. I'll be getting a quote for each.

While I was running around on Thursday, trying to get the electrician updated on the new changes to the outlet layout, my business line rang. I'd love to tell you that my business line is always ringing, that I'm considering hiring a secretary, but that is not yet my reality. In fact, most of my business line calls are wrong numbers. It's ok, I consider that one more little stab at word of mouth. Perhaps the next time, those wrong number people will call back with chocolate orders! So I answered the phone in the usual manner, but half expecting a wrong number. Instead of a caller looking for Theresa, I found myself on the phone with a fellow chocolate maker who runs a business out of Raleigh. I think he was scoping out the competition!

He had some supportive words about my website, and suggested that I join him and a few other local chocolate makers in a well known specialty foods store. (when I get in there, I'll tell you which one!). I really don't know how to take it. On the one hand, I can't help but be a little suspicious, after all, who is this strange man calling me up and asking all sorts of questions? On the other hand, I'd like to think that he really just wants to help out a fellow business person, and make the market more interesting by adding competition. I suppose time will tell.

It's the gift that keeps on givin'

My family is more than a little obsessed with National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. We watch it every Christmas, and some quote from the movie comes up in our conversation often. Part of it is that we have family members who are eerily similar to Clark's relatives. So it seemed a natural fit to come up with my own "jams and jellies of the month club".

Of course it's not jams and jellies, it's chocolate! That's right, you too can have a Nearly Never-ending Supply of Chocolate!

I'd toyed with the idea before, but after a failed attempt to pick up the new Harry Potter book - we'd pre-ordered, but they were making everyone go through the same checkout line and only using two registers. Bad planning people, bad bad planning. The line literally snaked through the entire perimeter of the big bookstore and out into the mall. I'm not saying I was terribly surprised (although this is a small town, and half of it thinks that fictional books about wizards will still lead you straight to hell). But still, I didn't stay to wait it out in the line.

Back home, bookless and awake, I started thinking about chocolate. What sort of flavors would I include? After about five minutes of brainstorming, I said - wake up, silly - why not just get going on this right now? That's how I found myself writing code at 2 am, adding a new page to the website and coming up with an excellent list of flavors.

The lesson I learned from the whole night was - don't wait. If you have a good idea, write it down at the very least, and do more than that if you can. If not, some of the best ideas you have will slip away and be lost among all the little mundane things your brain must think about.

Contact

Sometimes it's easy to forget that one of the best parts of the internet is the ability to connect with strangers and not-so-strangers. I know that the idea of blogging is to foster this community, but I'm still pretty new to it, so it still surprises me when I get a comment or an email.

When I left my job to build this business, I left behind a lot of headaches, and a lot of bulls**t, but also my friend network. When you work with yourself, you've got no "work friends" but yourself. It's difficult to estimate the change that suddenly losing all your social contact will effect. Now, I don't want you to think I'm a hermit - I can and do maintain friendships outside of my workplace. The problem is that I've lived all over, and most of my friends reside in the places where I've lived. Even my best friend, who still lives in the state, lives about three hours away. This situation means that I've got great support, and plenty of phone conversations, but very little facetime. Visiting my friends is either going to require a long ride in the car or a trip on a plane.

I know I should try and make local friends, but I don't. No excuses, I just don't. After a long day of making chocolates and writing blogs, I really just want to get in the bath, or curl up on the bed with a book and a dog. Am I doomed to hermit-hood? I think for the moment, I am.

Nothing outside of my family means more to me than this business. If it didn't progress as quickly as it might, or if it were to - God forbid - fail because I'd put my energy and money into going out with people who only have a passing interest in my welfare, I couldn't forgive myself. Just another one of those sacrifices all the small business articles and books tell you about!

So, if you need me, I'll be under my rock.

PS - I'm now hooked up with Google checkout, so shopping for chocolate is even easier!

the wheels of progress move slowly

Kitchen construction has begun. It's crazy how quickly and slowly the process goes. Over Memorial Day, the framing went up, and the plumbers are due to come this week. I still have to line up the electrician (I had one set up, but he flaked out). After that, it's just a matter of finish work and moving in all of the appliances.

When I was around ten, my parents built a house. Then, a few years later, my grandmother built a house. I've been through the building process, but it never seems to sink in. I've been seeing this kitchen in my head for months, and now I just want it done.

The Search for a Name

Before we began this little journey, I would never have said that one of the hardest hurdles to jump would be naming our enterprise. I've always been great with names. All of my pets have really, good, interesting names that match their personalities. My fictional children have always had names that would neither make them sound foolish, or scar them for life (Hello Moon Unit, how are you?). Why should naming a company be any different?

My first instinct was to go with something that reflected one of my aforementioned really cool pet names. I thought that would make it more personal, and sound good. I thought about Luca (my horse's name). But Luca what? Luca Chocolate? Luca's Chocolate? Just Luca? Luca was out. Next we tried a combination of our names (remember, I used to have a partner). The best we could come up with wer DEVA and LEVI. No.

One of the most promising came from an offhand comment that David would say when he was at a loss for words. But, after a few weeks, Blue Monkey Chocolate lost its luster.

Part of our logo was a lion. I am a huge Queen fan, and I've always loved the cover of "A Night at the Opera". David used that idea to create our own logo, and draw our own lions. Lion Chocolate does exactly roll off the tongue. I did a multi-language search for the word, and løve was discovered. Løve is the Danish word for lion. The exact pronunciation is "leuve" or something like that. We say love. It's faster, and requires less explanation.

It took about six months, and more words than I remember (I still have the lists), but I really feel like this is my company, my name. That's a great feeling.

Changes.

Things are a little different starting today. For no reason other than it was the right thing to do, the partnership aspect of LØVE Chocolate is over. It's just me now. I own my own business! Whoo hoo! I'm excited and looking forward to moving things along a lot faster. The website is now up, although that will be changing again pretty soon. There will be online ordering and all kinds of exciting flavors in the coming weeks.

Stay tuned.

I dream of orders.

I am officially wrapped up in the chocolate business. Last night, I took a chocolate order in my sleep. I don't mean that someone called at 2 a.m. and I answered the phone (although I do hope to inspire that level of chocolate addicted-ness). No, I took a chocolate order in my dream.

I find myself constantly considering marketing angles, trying to find new ways to put us in the black. I suppose that's why it filters over in my dreams. Too bad, really, I much prefer dreaming about romantic encounters. If I'm going to dream about chocolate, I wish I'd have some sort of grand revelation between the hours of midnight and eight, instead of just taking an order.

In other, much more interesting and exciting news, the new kitchen is now framed. I'm waiting to hear back from the plumbers, and we'll be on our way. I can't say enough good things about restaurant auctions when it comes to outfitting a kitchen on a budget. Certainly I've been to some auctions where people forget their senses and pay stupid prices for used equipment. But, if you find yourself at one of those glorious auctions where there is no reserve, and no-one wants to pay for anything, the deals are yours for the taking.

I was at such an auction a few months ago. I felt really bad for the restaurant owner - he'd lost his lease and had to be out, so everything had to go. I saw a $7000 crystal chandelier go for $600. My fellow buyers were mostly men, and mostly older, I stuck out like a zebra in a stockyard. The small wares were listed before the big equipment, so I had about a two hour wait of auctioning before I was even ready to consider bidding. That did nothing to lower my profile, either. At one point, I stood next to an older Indian man. He started up a little conversation, asking me where my business was, and so on. I answered a few questions and excused myself to go sit in another area of the restaurant. Less than five minutes later, here he came, making a beeline for my booth. He was joined by his business partner; together, they looked like they came from central casting. The first man who spoke to me was chubby and had a happy expression. His parter was tall, thin and shifty. He sat down and immediately started asking me questions - where was I located, what did I do, did I have a phone number? I told him that we didn't have a business number yet (a lie) and excused myself to go check out some of the equipment I would be bidding on. As I was looking in a back room, I heard them behind me! What was their deal? I'll never know if this was just some cultural miscommunication, or if they were trying to kidnap me, because about that time, the auction finally started moving back to the large equipment in the kitchen. In about thirty minutes, I was the new owner of a commercial microwave ($50), several sheet pans ($2 each), a double sink with drain boards ($25!!), and the big fish: an eight foot refrigerated work top ($350!). Needless to say, I was ecstatic.

So, as soon as I have plumbing, electricity, and some drywall, I'll have the perfect place to put all of my new stuff.

from then, to almost now.

We planned and cooked and practiced and sampled for nearly a year before things started coming together. I'm sure, had we both had ample time and energy, we could have made it all happen faster, but we were trying to do things inexpensively and while maintaining our lives. In late November of last year, I met with some local executives as part of the SCORE program (www.score.org). If you're considering starting a business, or have been in one for a few months, SCORE is an amazing service. For nothing more than an hour or so of time, you have access to retired business people who will give you the benefit of their years of experience. It was one of the most valuable hours of my business education.

Christmas of '06 was profitable, and great for exposure. It was also an incredibly trying time in my regular job. I didn't know it then, but it was to be the beginning of the end...

Welcome!

Welcome to the official blogging home of LØVE Chocolate. I'm so glad you're here. I'm Leslie, the owner and head chocolatier. I want to use this blog as a way to keep everyone up to date on the best new flavors, most cutting edge techniques and exciting special offers from LØVE Chocolate. Tomorrow, I'll give you the quick and dirty story of how it all began, and where I am now. For now, I'd just like to lay down a few ground rules and tell you a bit about me.

I am a pastry chef, and I've been in the restaurant industry for about five years. I knew from about age 14 that I wanted to become a chef, and, after a couple of years behind the line in several restaurants, I decided that pastry was more my speed. Don't get me wrong, there's something that will always entice me about the heat and smell and sounds of a kitchen on a busy night, but the pace is a killer, and I missed having normal weekends after five years. Afer receiving a degree in nutrition and restaurant manangement, I studied pastry arts in New York City. I came back to NC after that, and worked at a couple of hotels before taking the big leap into entrepreneurship. But I'm getting ahead of myself, the big story happens tomorrow.

I really want to keep the lines of communication open, so please feel free to comment. However, if things get nasty, I will delete the comments. We welcome criticism, just keep it clean. And please, we thrive on orders, so if you've got an idea for a chocolate, or something special you'd like to create, leave it in a comment or shoot us an email and we'd be thrilled to get you your very own custom box of chocolates.

I can't wait to share stories of making chocolate and all the trials of starting a new business with everyone.